The quiet of the night has arrived. Snow piling up on the grass. Temperatures dropping. Street lights reflecting on the whitening, silent cul-de-sac. Writing, while continuing in my head, has not made it through to my fingertips until tonight. Waiting. Pondering. Seeking. Sitting on the fence.
David’s prayer circles round and round, “I am your servant, give me discernment…” Ps 119:125
Since Epiphany, there has been a distant call echoing through the busyness which I usually find filling my day. It makes me restless and unsure of what it means. Praying for clarity. Praying for signs. Praying that I am wise enough to listen.
“I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” (Isaiah 45:3)
I know His WORD. I know His pormises. I know His voice. I know deep in my heart of hearts where the Light is leading. I drag my feet a little more. I wait in the Land of Later. ‘One more sign,’ I plead. ‘One more encouragement,’ And then I hear His gentle laugh as He replies, “A kick in the butt, perhaps?” I lay my head down on pillow and smile.
Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Lk 9:58
I wondered if Jesus dragged His feet at times. There is no place that really says He did..except…at the wedding feast when He told His mother, “My time has not come”, and she continued to prod Him forward. I profess that He is my role-model, so I guess that is my kick in the butt. That old idiom starts rattling from the depths of my memory banks “Get off the fence, Brynie”. It’s hard. Don’t want to. I like the laziness of this new life. Seriously???
Tomorrow will be another snow day. A new National Geographic waits unopened on my table. Plenty of food lines my shelves. Warm clothes, water, flashlights, candles for that “just-in-case” moment. In a few hours, the angel dogs will be dropping their ball at my feet and waiting to play in the white stuff. Hubby will be awake and working on the plans for the new, even smaller home he wants to build on our 4 acres tentatively named Covenant Pines or Kaufman’s Covenant (we probably won’t know till we live there). And me? I’m still dragging my feet, but maybe tomorrow, we will start doing the research of where I “think” I am being led. That’s what Lent is all about. Getting off the fence and starting the journey.
[Akiane art/personal photo]