“MY WINDOWS ACHE”

istock000000032072smallSeems like there are a lot of hurting people tonight. Post after post seems to pop up and weep into my thoughts. When this type of weeping tarts within my own life, I often turn to poetry, spirituals, or the Bible. Each of them bring a different picutre – a solidarity of thought – that I am not alone in my pain or sadness. There are others who have felt this same thing, tripped over the same rock, bled from similar ouchies. These testing periods are never fun.

Maybe it is just me, but some of the strongest poems are those that are written from that pain-filled experience. The images take on a poignancy that reaches beyond the physical and into the various depths that we share with no one except Those who keep watch over us. I love the image of this stanza: “…my windows ache.”

.”…so I wait for you like a lonely house29865221
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache.”~Pablo Neruda (Sonnet LXV)

Spirituals sing me to sleep even now. My mother started me on this path long ago. She worked during the day, so she would do housework at night. As I did my homework or curled in bed reading a book after she heard my prayers, I would often hear her singing spirituals. In 2005 when she “tripped the light fantastic” and went to dance with my father, I spent the summer months sitting outside, listening to Moses Hogan’s choir singing spiritual after spiritual. It was balm to my deepest pain. I had become an orphan.

images (2)“Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child
A long way is from home
A long way is from home
Do believe us, A long ways from home
A long ways from home”

The Bible is the place I go not only during rough times but also during happy times. My father battled heart disease from the time I was 10 to the ripe ol’ age of 19 when he finally hugged me for the last time. During those years, I often fell asleep with the Bible in my arms as I cried and feared that my daddy might die all too soon. I still read the letter he wrote me while I was in college. In it, he quoted the Gen 1:3

“God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light”

He then went on to write…”and believe it or not, most of that light came from a child…” That quote made a huge impression on me. I wanted to know the Light he talked about in that letter. I still want to know that Light, so I keep clinging to the Bible.

So if you are on a bumpy road right now, maybe some of these things might help you find the Light for your own path. Blessings!Be!

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