Monthly Archives: April 2018

SICK WISDOM

Wisdom learned over the weekend:

1) Antibiotics are not magic pills –
2) Prayer warriors’ worth are beyond rubies –
3) Body needs sleep and lazy days to heal (instead of mowing grass and digging bushes to transplant) –
4) Shadow-Spooky-Sparkle kitten knows when I am sick and sleeps on or beside me all night in my chair (except for the occasional mouse chase in the kitchen) –
5) The big girls – otherwise known as ‘the lab girls’ – don’t leave whatever room I am in while they snore away the time –
6) But most of all – I need to quit being stupid.
7) “Even to your old age and gray hairs, I AM he, I AM he who will sustain you. I have made you, and I will carry you; I will sustain you, and I will rescue you.”~Is 46:4

“Back of every mistaken venture and defeat is the laughter of wisdom if you listen.”~Carl Sandburg.

“Give me hunger, 
O you gods that sit and give 
The world its orders. 
Give me hunger, pain and want, 
Shut me out with shame and failure 
From your doors of gold and fame, 
Give me your shabbiest, weariest hunger!

But leave me a little love, 
A voice to speak to me in the day end, 
A hand to touch me in the dark room 
Breaking the long loneliness. 
In the dusk of day-shapes 
Blurring the sunset, 
One little wandering, western star 
Thrust out from the changing shores of shadow. 
Let me go to the window, 
Watch there the day-shapes of dusk 
And wait and know the coming 
Of a little love.”~Carl Sandburg I-will-carry-you-Isa-46.4  [google image]

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BLESSING OF A BITTERSWEET DAY

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”~A.A. Milne

Back in the day when all I had was a room, a bed to sleep on and miscellaneous things that made me smile, I collected quotes. This was before the days of easy access to quotes, so they were clipped or handwritten from of magazines, books, or songs. I taped them to whatever thing that was handy, the wall or even the boards that served as my make-shift bookcase with the help of some bricks.

When my dad died, I was 19 and this was one of the quotes that was taped to his picture that I kept close to my bed. As is often the case, the quote disappeared from the picture, but not from the memory files in my head.

Blessings are sometimes hard to find when the heart hurts from loneliness. Yet, that is exactly why this quote has stuck with me for such a long time. However, unlike A.A. Milne, I’m beyond lucky – I am blessed.

Blessed to have had a father that taught me the love of our heavenly Father. 
Blessed to have watched the great love affair between him and my mother – loud fights and car rides full of harmonizing songs – included. 
Blessed to have watched him work a full day in a factory and still find time to be a boy scout leader for the son he adored. 
Blessed to have him for 9 more years with him after his initial heart attack.
Blessed to have had a long telephone conversation with him the night before he died.
Blessed to have him serve as a heavenly guardian for my children and father-in-law on this day 24 years later when a car accident occurred.
Blessed to be the daughter curled into his side.

Bittersweet days are hard ones, but they are also blessed ones. I sat outside and watched birds flock around the feeder. I listened to some music that reminded me of my childhood days. I kept busy trying to learn a little more about the Heavenly Father. Fussed with the new mantle that reminds me of the one in my childhood home. Then I pulled out the piece of his old hammer and traced the carved letters with my fingers. Mom had cut this piece from his hammer after he died because he had carved his name in it. She kept it in the night table beside her bed, right beside the needle holder he had bought for her long, long ago.

Bittersweet days are filled with tiny blessings. We just have to remember to look for them.

“I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”~Jn 10:10    

 [personal images]

GOLDEN SAPPHIRE

Darkling day.
Cloudy day.
Windy day.
Chilly day.

And yet –

For a brief moment – while the rest of the world sat in the twilight of today’s last’s visages – the fiery sun burnt a hole in the thick clouds until the horizon blazed fiery orange through the dark blueish gray around it; giving light to impending darkness.

Tops of trees brushed in burnished brass – 
Tips singed first – 
Until bright flames shot –
Further –
Deeper –
Down the trunks –
Flames coloring the world in its image –
While the Breath of Life swirled new sparks 
Golden sparkles – 
That spun and reflected the Light back into the darkness –
Flowing over the branches – 
Tree after tree bowing in rhythm – 
Waiting to be touched –
By the Firestarter’s unfailing hand –

And my breath caught.

Time stopped.

Ayn Sof spoke.

“Be still, and know that I am God;”~Ps 46:10

Golden sapphires.
Unbroken covenants.
Reminders – that even in the darkest of times – 
The saddest of times – 
The chaotic mess of times –
The soft twilight times –
His Fire continues to burn bushes – 
Tall trees –
Souls 
Fired with His wisdom –
And immeasurable fiery Light into the world –
Once more – 
Over –
And over –
And over again –
Until the whole world knows.

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”~Ez 36:26

So tonight this is my prayer:
That God be glorified –
In whatever afflicted, messy poverty that towers above my world – over my head – beneath my feet – within my heart
That I remember the Helper – the Deliverer –
The Holy Ground around the bush –
“To Him be the glory and the power forever and ever, Amen.” ~1 Peter 4:11da         TheBurningBush [google images]

Glimpse of Grace

For the past few weeks my head has been full of the thickness of the new spring. Spring pollen does not bode well with aging sinuses and words don’t come easily when the brain is fuzzy, befuddled, and swirling in mild circles.

However, like in most things, there is always the flip side of the coin.The good thing about feeling slightly yukky but not really sick is I do a lot more reading and pondering of ideas that I normally just throw in a file to think about later. Hmmm – – – does that even make sense? I think it does.

Unclench your fists
Hold out your hands.
Take mine.
Let us hold each other.
Thus is his Glory
Manifest.~MLE, Epiphany p.9

My Breadcrumbs journey let me back to a couple of books I found almost two decades ago – both written by Madeline L’Engle. Glimpses of Grace (devotional) written in 1995 and The Weather of the Heart (poetry), 1978,2001. I’ve read both of them before but decided it was time for a re-visit.

I’m glad I did. 
ב”
Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and follow after faithfulness. Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”~Ps 37:3-4

For me, reading something the first time is like visiting a room. You walk around, 
notice a few things that catch your attention, 
enjoy your time there, 
and then close the door when you leave with a smile on your face. Re-reading a book is actually sitting down, soaking in things you never noticed the first time around, absorbing the nuances of the colors – light – shadows, and the craftsmanship that went into building it.

To the impossible: Yes!
Enter and penetrate
O Spirit. Come and bless
This hour: the star is late.
Only the absurdity of love
Can break the bonds of hate.~MLE, Annunciation, p.36

Re-reading the WORD is much the same. I was re-reading Psalm 37 today. I’ve read this Psalm many, many times and never noticed the insertion of the Jewish alphabet between verses. It looked like a shorter Psalm 119. Today I was reading it in my Catholic version of the Bible which sent me on a Bible search for other versions. Sure enough, when I looked on Bible Hub there are several other versions that include the Jewish word or letter.

I’m not sure why this was important today, but it was. When our brains are fuzzy and the world is pulling at our time, it is the little things we sometimes miss in our reading of His WORD. Often we need to revisit the room that we think we already know. 
Take a chair. 
Sit for awhile. 
Let the nuances soak into our very being. 
Absorb the colors. 
Let the Light cascade over us 
and catch a Glimpse of Grace.

ת”
But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: he is their strong hold in the time of trouble. And the LORD helpeth them, and rescueth them: he rescueth them from the wicked, and saveth them, because they have taken refuge in him.”~Ps 37:39-40   

    [google image]

BREADCRUMBS: The End – not!

When you get to the end, subtle He is not.

Now when I am driving down the highway minding my own business, singing in a cracking, raspy voice along with the Greatest Showman CD playing loudly my car, I really am not looking to hear from God. That is when the first car passes me.

It has 3 7’s on it’s license plate. I love 3 7’s together. It is considered by many as a sign of completion. I always notice because I was born on the 7th day, and the parents always had VM777 on their license plate. (Isn’t strange how we remember such trivial things?) My brother has 3 7’s in his phone number. Needless to say, whenever I see 3 7’s together, I have to smile and say a little prayer for all the 3 7’s I know. This is not a rarity. I see 3 7’s quite often. The next car that passed me was something I’ve never seen.

Car #2 had a bumper sticker that said “Blessings!Be!” – Spelled just like that – exclamation points included. Blue background – yellow letters – bold crazy font. I can still see it plain as day in my memory. “Blessings!Be!” is something that I use often when I talk or write to people.  Seeing it on a bumper sticker – exactly the way I write it – made me laugh out loud because I have never seen a bumper sticker like that.  However – it was car #3 that made me begin to ponder and turn off the CD player.

The third consecutive car that passed me on our local freeway yesterday had a license plate that said, “MRS K – LOL”. Now seriously, when I have been called “Mrs. K.” for almost all of my teaching career, how could I not sit up a little straighter and think about all these things?  How could I ignore the crazy randomness of these three cars without thinking about it? It is my nature to ponder strange things. Always have. From earliest childhood till now, I ask more questions than I ever find answers.

“Wisdom is knowing how much you don’t know. So you have to start there and ask God to teach you.” M Batterson, p223, Day 40 in Draw the Circle 40 Day Prayer Challenge

Tonight, I finished watching Passion of the Christ. I am not strong enough to watch it without many breaks and lots of tears. To think of what He sacrificed for us is beyond my comprehension. But I do know, that everything in the OT from the first letter to the last letter points to the “Son”. In fact – I read somewhere that the first Hebraic letter and the last letter put together spell “ben” or “son”. Everything in the NT – all that Jesus said and did – points us back to the “Father”.

“LORD, teach us to pray.” ~Lk 11:1

After the Grands and Hubby left today, I began digging up old rotten fence posts and rails that had been buried under years of rotting leaves, dirt, and gravel. It was not fun. I got dirty and sore. My knees crackled here and there. I prayed against finding a poisonous snake or spider. Wore my gloves and used a shovel to prod at things before I reached blindly into the mess, However, I did uncover a rather plump, gray mouse, who, strangely, didn’t run, but more or less, gave me nasty looks for destroying her home and moved under the next pile of leaves and wood until it was all gone. She flung one last look at me and wiggled under the last batch of leaves between two tree roots.

“Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” ~Lk 24:5-7

Tomorrow – or even tonight when I walk the dogs off the porch (since in Jewish eyes we are already celebrating Sunday), I will look up to the sky. I will remember to seek Him who is living with my prayers, and when I don’t know what to pray, I will recite the abc’s and let Our Father put them together into prayers He knows I wanted to say – needed to say. 
God knows where we are… 
Even driving down a freeway… 
Even when we are not thinking about Him at all…
Even when we are deep in our own sin…
And in these latter days – God is not subtle – His knock at your door is happening and the Breadcrumbs continue to drop.

He has risen.

Day 40 – Prayer Alphabet

Prayer is the difference between the best we can do and the best God can do. And if you’re anything like me, my best is not good enough. Without the Holy Spirit’s help, I’m below average. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Keep praying and believing that the best is yet to come!
Mark Batterson   

   [MB image/google image]