Category Archives: Aging
“I was lost in shame,
Could not get past my blame,
Until He called my name.
I’m so glad He changed me.”
When you wake up with one praise song singing in your head most of the morning – even through a very traditional church service – until it morphs into another by evening, what else can you do?
You write about it; that’s what.
“I’ve met the author of my story,
And He’s mine, yes, He’s mine.”
After a somewhat stumbling life journey, I’ve finally figured out not to ignore the little things. A thrum that rumbles my tummy until I turn off everything around me and kneel in prayer. The knees complain, but I just tell them to shut up. A soft nudge that points my eyes to a student in my classroom. I wonder why but tell the brain to shut up and take note. A song that repeats over and over until it drives me a little crazy.
Little things that add up – when I take time to notice.
The furnace and gas logs have been off for the past couple of days. Windows and doors wide open. A fan softly humming in the window. But tonight, the clouds are moving back in, and I can smell rain in the air. Tonight, when I stood on the porch watching over the lab girls, the moon was shining just enough through the clouds that I could see its hazy shape, yet within a minute, it disappeared completely. The dark skies covered me and the tears gathered once again.
That is the way the past 6 months have been.
A hazy shape.
A little light.
Clouds returning over and over.
And yet – that tiny moment of light – as dim as it is – is always enough – enough to steady my steps and find my balance once again.
” He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you;It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you;”~Act 1:7-8a
On New Years Eve, I was still struggling with what Bible verse and word would be my focus for the year. A friend sent me a verse, and just like that – problem solved. Since then, I’ve been puzzling and praying over it. It hangs in my war room, written in my journal, and stuck in my mind. Then today, both of the local preachers that I listen to added to it. One talking about Baptism – the other focusing more on the Holy Spirit. (v,5-6)
Jesus went to be Baptized – not because He needed to do so, not because some religious tradition required it, but to model and fulfill His journey on a path that was written for Him from the very beginning of time. Only known as a carpenter up until that point in time, His baptism signaled a change. After that, a name reverberated over the river bed and calling all to Truth: Yachid – Beloved Son. A new name repeated only once again – at the transfiguration.
I’m still puzzling why this is important to my journey right now, and yet, the more I look at this verse and the verses surrounding it, the more His hope rises within me that the clouds are beginning to break. The Light that has been so hazy over the past few months seems to be brightening the skies and overpowering that darkness just as I knew it would eventually.
Valley journeys are just like that sometimes. The good news? Even though there are tribulations in this life, valleys and clouds full of darkness, I know that Yeshua Mashiach has overcome the world, and through it all, I am keeping my eyes on Him.
“I am who I am because the I AM tells me who I am
I am who I am because the I AM tells me who I am
I am who I am because the I AM tells me who I am
I am who I am because the I AM tells me who I am…”
Epiphany – 12th Day of Christmas – The arrival of the wisemen – put away decorations – an idea that takes hold in the mind.
Everyone seems to have their own ideas on what Epiphany is – that is – IF they even remember that there is such a thing.
“On the twelfth day my true love gave to me
Twelve drummers drumming…”
The 12 disciples – the Apostles Creed – the 12 tribes of Judah – the prayer of Yeshua…
The wisemen raised in a tradition started by Daniel during Babylon sojourn (or so I’ve read). They read their histories. They read the stars. They trusted something beyond belief and rode into the unknown following only a star to a baby and his family.
Long before any could put all the pieces together, God was already doing so. Aligning stars. Using Daniel’s captivity to unfurl another mystery. Protecting His newly given Son. Drumming history into the words of a song that people would sing far in the future.
People reason. Ideas take shape and wallah – there is a plan to act on – an answer to the problem. “We are so smart,” we think. We march forward only to find a river in front of us. A storm on the horizon. A mountain that won’t move. A fig tree without a bloom. An empty garden. Silence around us. What now?
“I heard and my heart pounded,
my lips quivered at the sound;
decay crept into my bones,
and my legs trembled.”v.16
I am eclectic. No other way to put it. I bounce between genres of music, literature and religion. Any day you could find me bouncing between Lauren Diagle – Beverly Sills – Streisand – Julie Andrews – Ella Fitzgerald and singing – singing – singing. Did I mention? There has been a miracle over Christmas – my voice is back. Still pretty weak, but back. The squeaks are rare. The doctors wrong. So like any physical therapy – I keep exercising it – pushing it – testing it’s limits.
While I am still mostly reading non-fiction – Bible, poetry, history, and devotionals. I’ve started adding some fiction. That also started over Christmas. I read several Christmas novels – Charles Dickens, Lloyd C. Douglas, Truman Capote, T. Davis Bunn – not to mention – the wonderful Christmas stories I read as a child that still sit on my shelf. I cried. I giggled. I gleaned some wisdom. I promised myself to read and re-read some of my favorite fiction authors in 2020.
“Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,”v.17
Sundays find me going to my traditional early service at a local Methodist church. Especially this year of trying to step onto the dry riverbed with towering walls of water all around me. I am savoring the comfort of rituals learned at my parents’ knees – the old hymns – the majestic chords of classical choral music – the organ that thrums deep within me. Then I come home to feed on the non-traditional services – Ravi Zacharias, Brian Biggers, Rabbi Johnathan Cahn, Priscilla Shirer, Max Lucado. I mark up my Bibles. I look up verses and re-read them again. Note cards get filled. Walk the lab girls. Hug my teddy bear. Sing. Play the piano. Talk to My Father.
“Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
He enables me to tread on the heights.” Hab 3:18-19
Not sure I like changes. I have a friend whose focus word is “trust” for 2020. Last year, that was my word. It changed my life because that is what Our Father does. He changes us – from the inside to the outside. My 2020 vision seems to be clearing a little. His “power” (which is my focus word this year) – his powerful presence continues to overwhelm me – clearing my path when I see no path – opening my throat when the notes are lost in tears – reminding me of a tiny book written by a prophet 3000 years before I was born.
Just a matter of trusting the power of the Spirit in 2020 and remembering always: GOD IS – GOD ACTS – GOD CHANGES!!
What an Epiphany!
“Yank some of the groans out of your prayers, and shove in some shouts!”~Billy Sunday
Now that is some attitude about gratitude right there. A reminder that praising the LORD with loud, joyous shouts did not stop with King David dancing in the streets……at least……it shouldn’t have.
Day to day life does tend to get in the way sometimes. Today, I got up feeling a little better from the “Fall yukkies” that I finally succumbed to over the weekend. Luckily, I have a terrific doctor who knows my immune system pretty well. Anyway, I got everything done in record time. Checked off the list before I left for school. Got a mile down the road and remembered – I had forgotten the cookies I had packed up for a friends’ birthday. Errrr – – –
I didn’t feel like praising My Father at that point – let alone shouting out those praises.
“To quiet the voice inside my head that tells me the good ol’ days have passed me by or that the best is yet to come. To choose instead only the moment that’s unfolding right in front of me. To breathe in every sight and every sound…if I sensed myself drifting, I’d do my best to pause and look up.”~Joanna Gaines
I’d just read this last quote this morning and as I completed the u-turn to make my way back home, I paused and looked up. The Carolina blue sky seemed to wink back at me. Cars zoomed by on their way to someplace. I took a deep breath in – – – Yah. A bird flew between the branches of the trees and dipped its wing as I left that breath ease out – – – Weh.
A simple moment in time.
A simple breath as I looked up.
A praise that rose from the depths and sing a long with the Lauren Daigle song that “just happened” to come on the radio…
“Look up child, ayy,
Look up child, ayy…”
God winks happen all the time and most of the time, I miss them, but not today. Today, I paused. I looked up.
In the busyness of life, praise sometimes gets forgotten. Loud praises rarely get passed the mind, let alone the lips. But today – even though I got to school a little later, retraced my steps a few times, I paused. I looked up. And – – – I let my praises rock the car. After all, when the Carolina blue sky winks at you, what else can you do but “shove in some shouts.”
“Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth; Break forth and sing for joy and sing praises.”~Ps 98:4 [Ann Voskamp photo]
My thankfulness of being held by My Father is overwhelming today.
Teaching is like that for me. Put me in a classroom. Put me in a school setting. Put a sea of faces in front of me, and I can feel His breath pour into me, and I relax. It is what He designed me to do – as much as I fought it – as much as I had other dreams that I thought were way more important – it is always when I am teaching that I feel His presence surrounding me and pointing out all the things I should see and give back to those in front of me.
Strange but true.
“And not a tear is wasted
In time, you’ll understand,
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands.”
Today, I revisited the “Stinky Cheese Man – and Other Fractured Fairy Tales” to a class of 33, 1st thru 3rd years. They laughed. They participated. At points, they squiggled with excitement. Some used big words. Some struggled with finding the right words. Some spoke only with their eyes (and sorry was I that I had not extra time to find out more). Others were like to bust a gut if they couldn’t raise their hand fast enough.
And maybe – maybe – they just learned a thing or two.
“Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go”
There was a time when all I could dream about – think about – read about – was dancing as a life of wonder. Then I blew my knee out and cried myself to sleep for many a night. So – – I thought I’d be a musician of some kind – after all I was a pretty good singer, guitar and piano player. But somehow – there were times as I marched through life when I was put in charge of younger kidlets – in church – in school – listening to them read – teaching them to twirl a baton – working with handicapped kids during swimming lessons – and by golly – suddenly – I found myself having my own classroom.
Who’d a thunk it?
“So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away,
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held.
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held.”
Falling into place.
Beauty out of ashes.
Never letting go.
Dancing in the classroom.
Singing in the storm.
Breathing deeply – Yah – weh.
Just being held.
“Even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.”~Ps 139:10
GRATITUDE ATTITUDE #10
“…a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”~Ecc 3:8
On the 10th day of this transition month, my heart is full of gratitude for the Veterans who have stood in the gap for the freedom that the rest of us enjoy.
From the Revolutionary War to all the skirmishes that continue in our war-torn world of today. there are those who use their talents, gifts and blessings to honor those who have gone before them – whether out of love for country or love of the principles – or family tradition – they sacrifice what the rest of us do not: time, family life, easy continuity, safety, images that haunt their steps all their days and nights……
“The willingness with which our young people are likely to serve in any war, no matter how justified, shall be directly proportional to how they perceive the Veterans of earlier wars were treated and appreciated by their nation.”~President George Washington
How can I not be thankful and full of inexpressible gratitude to those who volunteer to serve – not drafted – not paid a lot of money – far from home and all its comforts – willing to lay down their life for me? How can I not bow my head and offer a prayer of thankfulness for those who serve now and those who have served in the past?
“The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.” — Abraham Lincoln
While women may not have always been on the battle lines, some have always sacrificed in their own ways out of their own talents, gifts and blessings. Almost all wars have accounts of women working behind the scenes – serving as spies – healing those injured – making uniforms and flags – traveling to bring much needed food, water and supplies. In fact – it is partly due to a woman poet, Moina Belle Michaels, and the use of her talents, gifts and blessings, that we wear a poppy to honor our Veterans and have a day to honor Veterans of all wars. Besides working during the WWI, she was moved to work with disabled Vets when they returned home. It was her poem that struck a chord and began a movement that was eventually separated from Memorial Day and named “Veterans Day” by President Eisenhower in 1954.
“There is no greater love than this: that a person would lay down his life for the sake of his friends.”~Jn 15:13
So as I prepare to transition into November 11, my heart continues to hope that someday, we won’t have to walk this path any more. But until that day – I am thankful for the watchman – watch-person if we want to be PC compliant – who stands on the wall of freedom – their sword ready by their side, their eyes always watching – waiting – and prepared to do whatever it takes to protect this precious gift of choice – FREEDOM.
“He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples. They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.”~Is 2:4
Spent some time laughing, sharing space and time with friends that I don’t get to see often enough. Scrubbed and polished my slate end tables. Kicked some leaves with my lab girls while they chased the beloved ball. “Technology Talked” with a couple of cousins and friends. Got a little chilly while I was swinging on my patio swing. And – put most of my fall decorations away.
Yupper. This year, I am one of those that have started the transition to Christmas before Thanksgiving. I usually do try to change everything over the week before Thanksgiving anyway – so this really isn’t much of a stretch. But when push comes to shove, in my mind, there is something about thanking God, eating turkey and enjoying the decorations at the end of that wonderful day. And this year – I just need to surround myself with His Light a little more than usual since Thanksgiving is a little different for me this year.
“…the people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.” ~Matt 4:16
There are so many things to be thankful for during this month of transition. One of them is technology. Right now, I am watching the 1955 version of Peter Pan with Mary Martin. How fun is that for this baby boomer? “I Gotta Crow” that it is even more fun than I expected it to be!! How can I still remember most of the words to this play and its songs from so long ago? And yet – here I am – singing along and loving it.
Of course, besides remembering all of the songs, I also remember that I got to stay up late just to watch it. My daddy brushed my hair while we watched – eating popcorn from a big orange bowl and drinking a soda pop – special treats for a special night. “It is a place where dreams were born…”
A daddy who brushed my hair. A mommy who sang along with the songs and braided my hair when Daddy finished up. An older, big (at least to me – he was huge) brother who tried to ignore us all as he worked on boy scout badges or homework, but casually kept his eyes on the screen. It was definitely a time when I “thought wonderful, happy thoughts” and found that “I’m flying” faster than I thought possible.
Simpler, joyous times. “2nd star to the right and straight on to morning…”
It is good to pull out the treasure chest of memories occasionally. The gold and the silvers ones shine brightly – – especially those shined with Our Father cloth of love. I had a pretty nifty childhood. Church and Sunday School every Sabbath. Sunday drives to visit aunts, uncles, and especially – cousins. Family meals together. Chores done. Bedtimes full of books and prayers. Pretty good model for what a marriage and family should be.
November is that month of transition. The skies darken earlier. The cold wind slows my gait a little more as arthritis clamps down on the joints a little more tightly than I like. And yet, if I go past that silly 2nd star and soar way beyond all stars, the winter morning gets here earlier and sooner than I expected, freeing its sparkling Light to make all things new, and it easily outshines Neverland in the process.
“I, The Light, have come to the world, that no one who believes in me shall abide in darkness.”~Jn 12:46
GOD is good all the time – even on the darkest of nights. All the time GOD is good.
When the kitty is sick with a cold and just wants to curl in a ball on my lap, I can’t do much else than hold her and pray. After all, it is what I have done with her since she came to live with me a year and a half ago. Way too young to be abandoned on the side of a street, she shouldn’t have survived this long. Her siblings didn’t, and I really didn’t expect her to be the one to live.
I am thankful that she did.
She is still tiny. Tiny enough to lay on my lap as I type on my laptop and be comfortably stretched out. Tiny enough to curl on the back of my chair while she sneezes and snuffles, rubbing her head into the blanket that comforts us both. My heart aches for her, so I move her food and water a little closer hoping to tempt her to eat something.
Yet – through it all – I’m still thankful. Thankful when she turns to me for comfort. Thankful, when she eats a little. Thankful that today, she seems a little better than yesterday. Thankful that the Father trusted me to be her guardian.
“From them will come songs of thanksgiving
and the sound of rejoicing.”~Jer 30:19
How often does Our Father feel this? How often does He hold us on His lap? Rub our back? Whisper a prayer of encouragement? Move the manna and spring of living waters just a little closer for us?
Somehow, I feel as if He does it a lot more than we realize – – –
and I am thankful.
As I finished devotions today, preparing for getting on with my everyday life, I ran across this verse that I had used a few years ago in a blog post:
“The Lord will guide you always;
He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.”~Is 58:11
I’ve been doing lots of reading in the WORD. More than I have ever done in my life. Intermittent fasting as well. Praying a whole lot more than I ever thought possible. His refiner’s fire is like that as He molds and challenges the new shape that is emerging. I see links between everything that happens during the day. A path outline that He has designed just for me to notice. And – while I do not live by sight, hearing or feelings, I definitely feel His wisdom seeping in through those crevices as the day progresses.
“It [is] the best of times, it [is] the worst of times, it [is] the age of wisdom…” to paraphrase Dickens.
And through it all – I am praising My Father for holding me in His lap, encouraging me with His Grace-filled songs of love. He rubs my back and moves the water and bread just a little closer to my reaching hands. He dries my tears as I reap His songs of joy.
For this – – – I am truly thankful to Elohim Chasdi.
“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
13 “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the Lord’s holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
14 then you will find your joy in the Lord,
and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.”
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” ~Is 58:9-14 [google images/House of Maria art]
Not a big fan of daylight saving time. Not a big fan of switching the clocks. Not a big fan of helping my critters adjust to new feeding schedules. Just not a big fan.
I do like when we get back to “normal” time though. It seems right to have the skies darkening by 5 P.M and lighter at 7 A.M. Then again, I enjoyed in summers past those same hours way before “daylight saving time” became standard changes every year. In fact – I remember when we had to drive to nearby city in a different county that was on “daylight saving time” when our county was not. Needless to say, made getting to doctor appointments interesting.
“Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name;
make known among the nations what he has done.
Sing to him, sing praise to him;
tell of all his wonderful acts.
Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.
Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.”~1 Chron 16:8-11
Fall days find me wandering outside to do a few things. Returning inside to do a few more things. It is the “perfect” seasons for wandering – even if the leaves have not been spectacular this year. I enjoyed today’s sermon by a veteran. I swept the porch and patio, painted the rest of the living room/hallway walls (at least the parts I could reach). Went back outside and painted another plant stand. Did a few loads of laundry. Read a few devotions. Walked my chocolate labs a few times. Kicked a few leaves and then sat on my swing.
“Let the trees of the forest sing,
let them sing for joy before the Lord,
for he comes to judge the earth.”~1 Chron 16:33
For whatever reason, I am thankful and fully aware of My Father’s presence when I sit on that patio swing. Rocking back and forth. Back and forth, as I let the movement and the squeak of the swing settle into the deepest part of me. Those rhythms and sounds jostle awake other rhythms. Soon I am singing with the trees – singing for joy before the LORD – and thankful.
November is that month. That necessary month of transition in our mortal minds. After all, the worldly celebration of Halloween’s frivolity and pretend has passed. Christmas is a month in the future. We need these thirty days to realign our centers so that our focus can be on what is important – the greatest gift ever given to anyone – anywhere.
So this week, I am enjoying the wonder in my freedom that others sacrificed much to ensure that I could sit on a swing singing on a fall day. I am enjoying the transition from worldly concerns to that of thankfulness and praise for a Father who has held me securely within the shelter of His promises and wings over the past months of 2019. I am breathing in His name with every breath as I swing – breathing in: Yah – breathing out: weh – YHWY – Yahweh – Yahweh
A month of transition. A month of to enjoy transition. A month to humble myself. A month to prepare as I swing back and forth – back and forth – Yah – weh — Yah – weh — Yah – weh..
[google images/House of Maria]
“Again the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the sons of Israel, saying, ‘On the fifteenth of this seventh month is the Feast of Booths for seven days to the LORD.”~Lev 23:33-34
Today is the 15th of October. If we were living by the Jewish calendar, it is actually the 16th of Tishrei. The second full day of Sukkot/Feast of Tabernacles. It was also – in NC – a perfect fall day. It was a mite cool when it started, and the gas logs came on for about an hour. However, by mid-morning the shorts were back on, the windows open. the lab girls pleading for me to throw their ball by getting in the way, and a small harvest waiting to gather. A perfect day to sit in the sukkah and read and relax and sigh in contentment.
HOWEVER – that wasn’t the day that was designed just for me. It wasn’t even the day I planned to do originally. Wasn’t even the day I contemplated as I lazed around in my bed and whispered my first prayer of gratitude. But it was the day the LORD had made – just for me – so I rejoiced and was glad in it.
Then I got busy.
Tore the spinach and flowering vines off the deck. Cut back a tomato plant that thought it owned one whole corner of the deck. Laughed at how big the asparagus had gotten under said tomato plant. Washed and painted the plant stands so they are ready to move inside for winter. Re-potted a couple plants who whose tootsies were way cramped and yearning to be free. Threw the ball to get the lab girls out of the way, and finally – sat on the patio swing and laughed with a friend and her hubby many, many miles away.
‘Then on the fifteenth day of the seventh month you shall have a holy convocation; you shall do no laborious work, and you shall observe a feast to the LORD for seven days.”~Num 29:12
Whoops! Didn’t quite follow this instruction. I may have done some laborious work, but somehow – I don’t think Our Father is frowning. There is nothing like being able to finally sit down, take a deep breath, and look around at all the things accomplished and feeling oh so thankful that you live exactly where you live and enjoy the work of your hands. I always feel close to Our Father during these times. It is almost as if I can hear Him pronounce those wonderful words to me: “And GOD saw that it was good.”~Gen 1
Tomorrow it is supposed to rain. I get to go into school and get hugged and blessed by 76 youngins and 15+ adults. And – – life will – – more or less – – hit its normal weekday routine. But I will hold close today and the wonder of being outside for most of it. Working with my hands. Depending on Our Father for everything I accomplished and the glory of His creation that surrounded me on all four sides of my patio sukkah.
When the Grands were over this past weekend, we sat on the patio swing while we ate our Eskimo bars, enjoying a break from painting Halloween creations for their home and mine. The youngest one wondered if the wisteria vines would cover the top of the portico by next summer to shade the whole patio. I looked around and smiled. It grew a lot this summer, so I answered – “Maybe” – and just maybe – my sukkah will have a roof next year for Sukkot. Now how cool is that?
It was indeed a perfect fall day.
“I’m ready, GOD, so ready,
ready from head to toe;
Ready to sing, ready to raise a tune;
Wake up, soul!
Wake up, harp!
Wake up, lute!
Wake up, you sleepyhead sun!!”
“I’m thanking you, GOD, out loud i the streets, singing your praises in town and country. The deeper your love, the higher it goes. Every cloud is a flag ato your faithfulness.
Soar high in the skies, O GOD!
Cover the whole world with your glory.”~Ps 57:7-10 Msg
It started last Monday. I take that back – it probably started Sunday the 6th. I spent the day in an unintentional fast and prayer. It was just one of those days when I was busy doing meaningless stuff when I needed to be in prayer. Somehow in the mix of the mess, I just didn’t find the time or the need to eat. So when Monday arrived, my ears were totally opened to listen to one of my favorite preacher/teachers. He often seems to hit that Holy Spirit sweet spot in my soul. So much so, that I generally cry. I generally take notes – lots of them. I generally do a bunch of pondering over the verses that he covers in his talks. I generally just seek the presence of the LORD.
Monday night, His presence went beyond the message – it carried on into my dreams.
I don’t remember much of the dream except I was singing in a choir. The music was all in different colored folders that had swirls of colors all over them. and I could hardly wait to open them and begin sight singing. The choral director was someone I had sung with before and was – oh so excited – to sing with again. Best yet, we were to told to make new dresses for the upcoming concert. I wanted the blue material, but only a Christmas red and pink were left when it was my turn to chose. Funny thing, I wasn’t really disappointed and couldn’t wait to get started sewing the pattern for the new dress.
Of course, it was then I woke up. So Tuesday, I said my morning prayers as usual. The beginning of Yom Kippur would start at sundown. The day of determination for the new year. The day of Our Father weighs the heart.
My heart has been heavy for the past few months. Worries. Concerns. Friends/relatives fighting diseases. Prodigals wandering far from home. How I needed to make a decision on getting tires for the car or a new back door or a screen door – or…. Yeah – I throw even those tiny things into my prayers. Sure – enough by sundown and the beginning of Yom Kippur, He had answered that tiny prayer about tires in a most unexpected way. He also had opened my eyes and dried my tears in a way I had not expected.
Every day of that week continued to be blessed including Friday which brought another surprise in the mail and a couple found in a Bible totally up to three unexpected gifts. I love how My Father knew that I needed a show of His Light-giving miracles this holy week. I love how He inspires people who are anonymous to me – but not to Him – to accomplish His work on earth for the people who love and honor Him. I love how the Jewish High Holy Days are holy for ALL His people. Yeshua celebrated the High Holy Days while He was on earth — after all — He went even though He knew His enemies were looking to destroy Him. I think they are still important to Him. They were the first covenants He made with His first people. Then after His time here was done, He made the gate available for the rest of us and someday – that same gate will open to the second garden He has designed just for us.
“After this, Jesus went around in Galilee. He did not want[a] to go about in Judea because the Jewish leaders there were looking for a way to kill him. 2 But when the Jewish Festival of Tabernacles was near, 3 Jesus’ brothers said to him, “Leave Galilee and go to Judea, so that your disciples there may see the works you do. 4 No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world.” 5 For even his own brothers did not believe in him.”~Jn 7:1-5
So tonight, as Sukkot/Feast of Tabernacles begins, I am thankful for the harvest of salad greens, tomatoes and flowers that I have had all summer. Thankful for a summer of life-altering change. Thankful for walks in the rain with the lab girls. Thankful for kitty curled in my lap. Thankful for a Father that hears the smallest whisper thrown into a quickly uttered, frustrated prayer. Thankful for friends who hear God speak to their hearts and put a gift in the mail. Thankful to Elohim Chasdi who dries my tears and carries me when I can’t take another step forward. And while I won’t live in a sukkah this year, I will certainly do a lot of prayers sitting on my patio swing in thankful praise and adoration.
The harvest of thankfulness has begun to a Father who meets all our needs – in all our journeys as we wander through the desert between two gardens.
“Therefore Jesus told them, “My time is not yet here; for you any time will do. 7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that its works are evil. 8 You go to the festival. I am not[b] going up to this festival, because my time has not yet fully come.” 9 After he had said this, he stayed in Galilee.
10 However, after his brothers had left for the festival, he went also, not publicly, but in secret. 11 Now at the festival the Jewish leaders were watching for Jesus and asking, “Where is he?”
12 Among the crowds there was widespread whispering about him. Some said, “He is a good man.”
Others replied, “No, he deceives the people.” 13 But no one would say anything publicly about him for fear of the leaders.”~Jn 7:6-13
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